Lady Gaga & Sexuality

According to Time magazine, Lady Gaga is one of the 100 most influential people. What makes her so influential?

Lady Gaga

One of the reason is her unwavering acceptance of herself, and the ability to express it to the whole world. This includes her sexuality. She inspires us all to accept unconditionally who we are, to celebrate ourselves, and enjoy our life fully.

The process of understanding your sexuality, or coming out to yourself and others, or gaining confidence and pride of being who you are, is a major undertaking. There is a great book which gives you practical steps to go about it; "Coming Out Every Day", by Bret K. Johnson, Ph.D. It is geared towards gay, bisexual, questioning men, but it applies to everyone struggling with coming out. I have taken some of the main concepts and listed them as three steps. I believe it would help to start the process of obtaining a healthy, integrated gay or bisexual identity.

Step 1:

Dr Bret Johnson

• Look inward and gain awareness of yourself. Who am I? What kinds of labels am I giving myself? What are my roles and identity?
• Do this with yourself or with a trusted few, who support and respect you. Keeping a journal can help. It is important to be honest with yourself without passing any judgement.
• For example, you might consider yourself homosexual or bisexual, or describe yourself as someone who is attracted to/ falls in love with the same-sex, or is still questioning your sexuality. As you begin to acknowledge this as who you are, eventually you can come to accept yourself more fully.

Step 2:

• Look into things which block you from accepting yourself fully. Do you fear being judged by others? Do you feel anger? Does it show up as pushing others away or self destructive behaviors?
• Writing them down can be a great way of starting. You may consider what and how you want to tackle them differently.
• For example, you may be drinking too much, or allow others to verbally/physically abuse you. You can write down alternative healthier ways of dealing with the situation. You might choose to start by monitoring your drinking and staying away from people who put you down.

Step 3:

• Promote a safe environment for yourself. Physical safety is being safe from bodily harm; emotional safety may include feeling free from other people's words, prejudice or shame. It also may mean having a sense of inner comfort. You can do this by surrounding yourself with people and situations which support and help you to thrive.
• For example, have a couple of good friends you can talk with in confidence. Also, connect with your community. These may include a local gay/bisexual community, club or organization. You can also utilize the internet to find support groups.

In conclusion, after the three steps I delineated, you will know yourself more, be able to accept more fully who you are, and take practical steps to live a more fulfilled life, with integrity and authenticity. For more detailed and complete information, I would recommend Bret Johnson's book.

Thank you Lady Gaga for your fierce integrity in keeping with who you are. You lead by example, and show the world how to be successful by being exactly who you are.